Saturday, February 28, 2009

Where Do I Hide?
Hiding. That's what I'm doing right now. I have a bad cold today, so my husband has been letting me get some extra rest in our room while he takes care of the little ones. I needed this today, but I'm still hiding. I have found myself hiding many times this week.
We had some leftover Italian bread from our spaghetti night a few days ago and I was craving French toast so much, that I made just enough batter to make two small pieces. Of course, there wasn't enough to share with the children, so I chose to make it when they were busy with their chores. Hannah was cleaning her room and Rachel and Jonathan were outside feeding the horse and cleaning out her stall. The toddlers were busy running around as usual, so I thought I was safe to make my "secret" breakfast before anyone noticed. I didn't quite know how I would mask the smell of something recently cooked over the stove, but seeing as how their chores took a little while, I hoped the smell would fade away. My plan worked, but I still had to hide in my room to finish eating because they were slowly filing into the kitchen. I felt a little guilty, but I also didn't want them to feel left out because I didn't have enough for everyone.
I usually have my afternoon tea time when the kids are having their quiet time, but the packages on the cookies are so loud that I am convinced the cookie companies make them that way on purpose. Loud packages equal kids running to get cookies, so the parents have to keep buying more, just so they can have a couple with their tea. I do share with my children, but not at my tea time. I need those fifteen minutes or so to collect my thoughts, plan the rest of my day, and yes, sometimes to hide.
I am not always hiding from my children. I hide from my husband. I hide my feelings, or at least attempt to hide what's really bothering me. I hide from my friends. Sometimes, I can paint a very rosy picture of how I'm doing, but my spirit may be crushed.
I wonder how often I try to hide from God. I know I can't do this, but there are times I try. When I am about to make a foolish decision or to say a careless word, I hide. When I have sinned, I hide. When I am so low that I have told myself that I can't reach for Him, I hide.
I hide from God in different ways. I can hide by avoiding my quiet time with the Lord. I can hide when I am having quiet time with Him, by skimming the passage for that day and not letting it permeate my heart. I hide when I do not talk to God. I hide in my thought life and can even get lost in those thoughts. I hide by using my time unwisely, whether it be on the computer, a good book, music, or going for a drive.
Hiding can be good. Time away, a few moments over tea, reading, are all healthy things as long as I'm hiding in the Lord. Throughout the Psalms, God is referred to as a hiding place, a refuge, a shelter. He is a rock and a fortress. And, why would I want to hide from Him? I cannot hide from the Lord. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?"(Psalm 139:7) He loves me with an everlasting love that I can't even begin to understand. He knows everything about me and still loves me. He made me. So, I can hide in the Lord. Colossians 3:3 says, "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." In Psalm 119:11, it says,"Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee." This makes me long to hide in Him. "Hiding in Thee, hiding in Thee, Thou blest Rock of Ages, I'm hiding in Thee."
So, with my Bible in hand, I am going to put the water on for tea, grab a few cookies and spend some much needed time hiding in my Savior. And, I'll share a few cookies with the kids, too.